The View From My Desk (…and 8 Years of ET Canada Souvenirs)

Today, it’s the unofficial start of the ninth season of “ET Canada.”

Officially, it was last week. However, the Toronto International Film Festival kind of interferes with all that possible reflection by parading its annual line-up of Hollywood stars and Oscar-worthy movies. And if you don’t live in Toronto, don’t worry. Those Oscar-worthy movies will open in regular theatres across the country over the next three months.

So today, unofficially marks the end of eight seasons of celebrity gossip and entertainment news. I can’t believe I’m still here.

I almost quit after the first week.

I was struggling with the tone and structure of the show and didn’t feel comfortable with it – at all. During the first few days, I was continually scolded by my boss that I was either too smart or too funny or too clever – and not glamourous enough.

Outside the trailer – yes, my first office was a desk inside a trailer unceremoniously dumped in the side parking lot of Global television – I told my boss I didn’t have what it takes to do this job. “Funny, smart, and clever” were considered good things in just about every other job in the world.

But he just laughed and patted me on the back and said, “You’ll get it. Don’t give up.”

I didn’t. And 2085 episodes later, I’m still here. He’s long gone, but I’m still here.

And I don’t have a desk inside a trailer any more.

This is my view outside my front window of Global Television at 81 Barber Greene Road.

Nothing ever happens out there except the occasional dog walker strolls by. Or maybe a squirrel springs across the lawn cursing that his squirrel cousins get to live in a forest while he suffers in the suburb squalor of Don Mills.

So I stare more at the trinkets on my desk.

At first glance, they’re just dumb toys and souvenirs. But upon further examination, they quite accurately represent my first eight years at ET Canada.

Long ago, I was frustrated that I never got to travel with the show but had to stay behind in Don Mills while writing material for the traveling reporters.

I would receive e-mails like this one. “Hey, John, I’m sipping cappuccino on the balcony of my hotel room overlooking the Mediterranean. You got my scripts yet? I have to interview a big star this afternoon, chop chop…”

I’m exaggerating! (Nobody ever wrote, “chop chop”…)

So one day I asked Rick Campanelli, “Hey, why don’t you bring me back something? You know, like a cheap souvenir? At least, it would show that my scripts got to travel to other places outside Don Mills.”

And he brought me back a faceless wooden ornament from the Dominican Republic. And that started a trend. Now everyone scrambles to bring me back something from their “exotic” locations.

Now some of the stories behind some of these souvenirs are long forgotten. I can’t remember where the tiny turtle and baby elephant came from. And why do I have a small tin of Hawaiian jelly? And when did the show go to Philadelphia?

Then there are other trinkets that remain tremendously cool. Like the Obama chocolate bar from his first inauguration (still not eaten). And the Finnish vodka bottle (drunk immediately). And the Mexican tequila bottle with the sombrero (sipped over the course of a week).

And then there are some items that remain poor excuses for a souvenir that served as a last-second attempt to placate me. Such as, the Bellagio room key and the Air France sick bag.

But regardless of their value or effort, they are all treasured now, as they accurately represent my eight-plus years at ET Canada.

If I left the show tomorrow, I would take them all home and lovingly organize them on a prominent shelf inside my condo.

And no, I’m no frustrated that I’m not the one who gets to travel for the show.

I did go to the Dominican Republic once. And I went to Vancouver and Victoria for work. And I even got to go to the Grammys in Los Angeles earlier this year.

But I did just fine travelling all on my own.

My bio proves it.

https://www.johnmeyerbooks.com/bio/

And so… I don’t get to travel and write scripts for ET Canada. And that’s okay. I do get to travel… and write books. And that’s a much better souvenir!
 
For more adventures at ET Canada, check out:

https://www.johnmeyerbooks.com/grammys-2013-part-1/

https://www.johnmeyerbooks.com/grammys-2013-part-2/

https://www.johnmeyerbooks.com/grammys-2013-part-3/

https://www.johnmeyerbooks.com/unusually-thicke-common-people/